sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
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Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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