OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
