I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
