Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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