they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
