I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
