i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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