My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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