You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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