Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
