And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
