Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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