I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
