Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
this just has baby written all over it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
