I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
