i think i have herpe
just one?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
