I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
