Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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