never play flip cup with pint glasses
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So vagazzling was a success
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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