Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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