dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How's work?
Spinning.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
