have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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