Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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