His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You left your phone here
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