I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize