so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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