I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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