i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
