if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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