She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
