You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
