Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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