Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize