I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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