How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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