what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
