Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize