Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize