What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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