Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
