Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
