Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
