So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
