i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dicks are not precious.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
