Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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