were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
