whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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