She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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