I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
