Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
