I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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