wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
