he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
