I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
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First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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