you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
