I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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