she smelled like a LAN party
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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