I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
