she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
