Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize