We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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