Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
