I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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