I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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