Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
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Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize