; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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