I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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