DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
