Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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