Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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