my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
