he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
