whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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